Embracing This Famous Steve Jobs’ Mantra Will Change Your Life
“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully.” — Steve Jobs
Andrew Carnegie, one of the wealthiest individuals in all of history, with an estimated peak net worth of $372 billion (adjusted for inflation) passed away over a century ago in 1919. Despite being incredibly successful and financially wealthy, Mr. Carnegie had none of the amenities and conveniences that the vast majority of us in the developed world enjoy today.
Perhaps, that was a good thing.
The ubiquity of smartphones that has proliferated over the past decade has given us an incredible number of options at our finger tips that did not exist even twenty years ago:
- Hungry? Satiate your hunger with whatever culinary delight tickles your fancy — pizza, sushi, ramen, tacos, or dim sum is just a delivery away.
- Lonely? Limber up that thumb and start swiping on one of the many dating apps.
- Bored? Dive into the endless library of content on Netflix that would make the Blockbuster video stores of the 90s envious.
Technology has acted as a major catalyst in juxtaposing modern society with that of 1919, and while this is wonderful in many respects, it is also detrimental to us.
We simply have far too many options in too many areas of our lives, which spur more decisions. This poses an important problem — decision fatigue. The average human makes approximately 35,000 decisions each day and Americans check their phones 144 times a day, on average. Being distracted this much is a true detriment to our ability to focus on anything for more than a few minutes.
As humans, we are only capable of making so many rational and logical decisions each day and every decision we make exhausts our cognitive capital — the mental energy required to make logical and timely decisions.
Each of us has many goals, objectives, and endeavours that are important to achieve in order for us to live healthy, fulfilling, happy, and purposeful lives. Whether these pursuits are to start a fitness regimen and be more physically active, eat healthier, read more books, quit a bad habit, learn to play an instrument, bake a basque-style cheesecake from scratch, change careers, find a life partner, or attain a new skill, our success or failure is determined predominantly by our ability to focus.
Focusing means saying no, and saying no to the things you do not want in life is just as important as saying yes to the things you do want. This is true in all aspects of life.
By saying no to ultra-processed foods, sugar, alcohol, tobacco, and drugs, you are saying yes to your health and wellness.
By saying no to the snooze button, you are saying yes to an early morning run or yoga class.
By saying no to the career you despise, you’re able to say yes to a true vocation that leaves your life feeling rich and plentiful.
By saying no to the wrong potential life partners that come along, you’re giving yourself the ability to say yes when the right one crosses your path.
By saying no to spending time with people that suck away your energy, you are saying yes to spending time with those who lift you up, make you feel energized, and enhance your life force.
By saying no to mindless minutiae of television and video games, you can say yes to reading that book that’s been collecting dust on your nightstand, strum on your guitar to your favourite tune (or one of your own creation), or go for a long hike in nature.
By saying no to yet another whimsical online purchase, you can say yes to investing that money in yourself or saving it for a rainy day.
Obviously, this is all much easier said than done.
In conditioning ourselves to say no more often, it is important to understand why we, as humans, have such a strong proclivity to saying yes. We often respond in the affirmative for four primary reasons:
- We yearn to please others — many of us are people pleasers who do not want to disappoint others by saying no.
- We want to avoid confrontation — the stress of saying no can force us to say yes, even when we do not want to.
- We are impulsive — we say yes to things impetuously without fully thinking through the implications of such commitments or obligations.
- We experience fear of missing out (FOMO) — our concern of missing out on an opportunity outweighs rational decision making, causing us to say yes simply because we may later regret saying no.
Learning to say no can be done more effectively by asking ourselves important questions about each decision we make:
- If I say yes, will it detract from my focus on something that is more important?
- Will saying yes cause more stress or fatigue in my life?
- Am I making this decision in haste or under duress?
- Are my true wants being considered in saying yes?
For example, if I’m spontaneously asked by a friend to go out for drinks on a weeknight, how do I apply these questions?
- If I say yes, I’m probably going to be out late drinking alcohol, which means I won’t get a proper sleep. If I don’t get a proper sleep, I won’t be able to wake up early to go for a run or to the gym, which are my health priorities.
- This will cause more stress and fatigue in my life because I’m sacrificing a solid sleep and exercise in order to socialize.
- This decision is time sensitive and spur of the moment. I did not plan to do this, so it may detract from my daily routine, which is more important.
- My true wants are to live a healthy life, which means sleeping well, exercising and having the energy to be productive.
Now, I’m not telling you to be a hermit and remove spontaneity from you life, but if you want to achieve whatever it is you endeavour to achieve and catalyze positive change in your life, you must be disciplined and focus on your priorities.
Creating rules for yourself can be helpful as well. For instance, going back to the situation above, perhaps you create a rule that you do not consume alcohol between Monday and Thursday and you allow for rest days from exercise on the weekends, which allows you to sleep in on Saturday and Sunday.
We all want to experience positive changes in our lives, but most of us do not yearn to change enough to obtain the change we seek.
We might not be happy with where we are or who we are, but we’re comfortable.
Focus on what it is you’d like to achieve and get at it. Life is short.
Two quotes to ponder in conclusion:
“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” — John Assaraf
“He who chases two rabbits catches neither.” — Confucius
